








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 837 | 24% |
| Smokes | 880 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 992 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 737 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,710 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Webbits | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | melty | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Jag™ | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | SH4RKPUNCH3R._. | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | $wag Money | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | melty | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Jag™ | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | SH4RKPUNCH3R._. | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | $wag Money | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | uniVerse GareBeaR | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $wag Money | 25 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | SH4RKPUNCH3R._. | 23 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jag™ | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Webbits | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | uniVerse GareBeaR | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jag™ | +1.20 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | Barz | -0.08 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Webbits | -0.10 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | SH4RKPUNCH3R._. | -0.38 | 56 | 74 |
| #5 | uniVerse GareBeaR | -0.64 | 66 | 26 |





