








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4424 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3105 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3954 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3806 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,384 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suwami | 49% | 434 |
| #2 | DONGERLORD JR | 45% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suwami | 49% | 434 |
| #2 | DONGERLORD JR | 45% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suwami | 32 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | DONGERLORD JR | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suwami | 1884 | 0.21 | 48 min |
| #2 | DONGERLORD JR | 669 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suwami | +2.00 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Viet HeavyGod | -0.85 | 50 | 65 |
| #3 | DONGERLORD JR | -1.07 | 58 | 45 |





