








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 340 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 184 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




272 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1082 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1184 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 840 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 488 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,849 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoaningLisa | 56% | 59 |
| #2 | CaptainWokjab | 50% | 423 |
| #3 | Flare | 48% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoaningLisa | 56% | 59 |
| #2 | CaptainWokjab | 50% | 423 |
| #3 | Flare | 48% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaptainWokjab | 171 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | Flare | 29 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | MoaningLisa | 28 | 0.0245 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaptainWokjab | 859 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | Flare | 488 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | MoaningLisa | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaptainWokjab | +3.91 | 45 | 42 |
| #2 | MoaningLisa | +3.08 | 41 | 42 |
| #3 | Flare | -0.71 | 16 | 49 |
| #4 | Lord WigWam | -0.76 | 29 | 18 |





