








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 27% |
| Smokes | 557 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 674 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 304 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,186 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | EeZi | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | ASDDDDDDAASD | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Akubi | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | squish | 49% | 51 |
| #6 | Bort | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squish | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | ASDDDDDDAASD | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | EeZi | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squish | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | EeZi | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ASDDDDDDAASD | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Akubi | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bort | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |





