








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4114 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3183 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2411 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1790 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,222 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steasy Wonder | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | Sexy Walter R. | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | iPeekr | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | ✪ ʞʎ | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | sheesh | 52% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JoëyAk | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | DNA | 49% | 143 |
| #8 | LukasS | 48% | 94 |
| #9 | GiZzmo <3 | 48% | 186 |
| #10 | Scratch | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steasy Wonder | 17 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | sheesh | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | DNA | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | LukasS | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | GiZzmo <3 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiZzmo <3 | 513 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | sheesh | 354 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | DNA | 301 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sexy Walter R. | 180 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | LukasS | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steasy Wonder | +2.76 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | ✪ ʞʎ | +1.29 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | GiZzmo <3 | +0.71 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | iPeekr | +0.37 | 87 | 52 |
| #5 | sheesh | +0.30 | 81 | 68 |





