








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 966 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 547 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,974 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vemi | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | dci | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | oniraM | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | BOT Thyst | 61% | 64 |
| #5 | Flare | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KingPengo | 60% | 45 |
| #7 | 血のスポーツ | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Nooby | 56% | 25 |
| #9 | Jopguy | 56% | 34 |
| #10 | airmaster17👌👌👌 | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingPengo | 11 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | BOT Thyst | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | vemi | 4 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | oniraM | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Flare | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Thyst | 212 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | KingPengo | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nooby | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | oniraM | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jopguy | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oniraM | +4.09 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Flare | +3.68 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | vemi | +2.71 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | Memeory Leak | +1.50 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | 血のスポーツ | +1.17 | 90 | 51 |





