








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1879 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2845 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2513 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1812 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,074 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (w)kyla | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | ๐พ๐๐ค๐๐ โ | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | abasd | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Kraz1S | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | P0T5A | 45% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paabu ๐ฐ | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Lรครคmรค (END eSports) | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Kraz1S | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | (w)kyla | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | P0T5A | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paabu ๐ฐ | 137 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | P0T5A | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lรครคmรค (END eSports) | 118 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | (w)kyla | 76 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kraz1S | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |





