










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,824 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1156 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1040 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 811 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,264 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raccan | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Rudoin | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Von 💦 | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Torgor 平 | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | raztratt<3 | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Albo | 33% | 18 |
| #14 | Ollie-- | 31% | 13 |
| #15 | Lejonet | 31% | 13 |
| #16 | Samuel | 27% | 22 |
| #17 | ShoteN | 27% | 15 |





