








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 570 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7435 | 47% |
| Smokes | 4363 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2276 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1909 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,981,034 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Meeks | 50% | 127 |
| #3 | DJ_Geoff | 48% | 275 |
| #4 | Feathers Mcgraw | 48% | 120 |
| #5 | James | 46% | 116 |
| #6 | HaggaTheBeast | 45% | 66 |





