








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1882 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3668 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2521 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3309 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,926 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dercry | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | PARTOALOL? | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Jim | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | inferniño | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | baldyxrat | 7 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim | 1473 | 0.20 | 42 min |
| #2 | Dercry | 883 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #3 | baldyxrat | 394 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | PARTOALOL? | 324 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | potakrip- | 273 | 0.15 | 9 min |





