








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 247 matches | ||
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6938 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4951 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4191 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3227 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,770,265 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VV'S | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Boku No Boba | 52% | 83 |
| #3 | loveshak | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | MaloMonster | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Kaiser | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | yOWL | 47% | 386 |
| #10 | Jasper | 47% | 32 |
| #11 | Stinky Dingus | 45% | 47 |
| #12 | Andres | 42% | 36 |
| #13 | Mikey_ | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jt | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | yOWL | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Boku No Boba | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Kaiser | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MaloMonster | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yOWL | 1988 | 0.24 | 44 min |
| #2 | jt | 686 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Boku No Boba | 261 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sketch | 223 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | VV'S | 177 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VV'S | +3.58 | 58 | 65 |
| #2 | Max | +1.42 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | jt | +0.87 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | Sketch | +0.20 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | Kaiser | -0.03 | 74 | 42 |





