










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1108 | 24% |
| Smokes | 997 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1176 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1300 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,087 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cl_girlfriend 0 | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Vivi | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Maro0 | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Nuh uh | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Sacred Fire King Garunix | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuh uh | 212 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sera☆Miracle | 166 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | cl_girlfriend 0 | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | 14th time champ | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maro0 | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |





