








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1994 | 50% |
| Smokes | 891 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 285 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 809 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,696 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNOOZE | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | S C O O T E R | 49% | 63 |
| #3 | Conno | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | Zuke | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | ckz | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNOOZE | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | S C O O T E R | 49% | 63 |
| #3 | Conno | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | Zuke | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | ckz | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S C O O T E R | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | SNOOZE | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Conno | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Zuke | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ckz | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S C O O T E R | 261 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | SNOOZE | 110 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Conno | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ckz | 52 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zuke | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNOOZE | +2.26 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | fib ;) | +1.72 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Zuke | +1.55 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | ckz | +1.29 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Conno | -1.25 | 64 | 61 |





