








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 460 | 26% |
| Smokes | 628 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 299 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 376 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,743 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Carmel_2 | 59% | 63 |
| #5 | Blitzmain34 | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | jonatan | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | Juice | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | imedw1n | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jale | 4 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | Blitzmain34 | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | jonatan | 3 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | Carmel_2 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | imedw1n | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juice | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Shawn Offensive | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | jonatan | 33 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Carmel_2 | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | imedw1n | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |





