








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3540 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3887 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2199 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2538 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,422 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0pdog | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | DozEm | 44% | 34 |
| #3 | zacro | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | Nakkipiilo | 40% | 111 |
| #5 | Kustaavi | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0pdog | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | DozEm | 44% | 34 |
| #3 | zacro | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | Nakkipiilo | 40% | 111 |
| #5 | Kustaavi | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakkipiilo | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Kustaavi | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | zacro | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | DozEm | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | p0pdog | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakkipiilo | 373 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Kustaavi | 218 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #3 | zacro | 137 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | p0pdog | 97 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | DozEm | 45 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zacro | +1.66 | 62 | 62 |
| #2 | p0pdog | +1.18 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Nakkipiilo | +0.58 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | Ifuckeryou | -0.41 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | DozEm | -1.01 | 44 | 35 |





