








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1295 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1807 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1979 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1469 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,135 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaston | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | peterS aka NYC | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | LAW | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | dan | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | violence. | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaston | 349 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | peterS aka NYC | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | vision | 124 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | dan | 111 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | LAW | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |





