








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 28% |
| Smokes | 879 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 942 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 359 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,187 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Mrs. Bojangles | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | Mr. Bojangles | 54% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Mrs. Bojangles | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | Mr. Bojangles | 54% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bojangles | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Mrs. Bojangles | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bojangles | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mrs. Bojangles | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut | 19 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cptn wonton | +3.82 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut | +0.58 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | Mrs. Bojangles | -1.02 | 47 | 68 |
| #4 | Mr. Bojangles | -2.16 | 46 | 66 |





