








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1528 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1586 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1169 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1552 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,120 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceessar | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Zensuke | 80% | 20 |
| #3 | sörsseli | 79% | 24 |
| #4 | Staffersson | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | toniblacked | 75% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | mc mane | 67% | 9 |
| #11 | tmzi | 65% | 49 |
| #12 | kilsi | 63% | 27 |
| #13 | Viller | 63% | 62 |
| #14 | aNSSI | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | levve | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Zensuke | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Jevvy | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | levve | 321 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | tmzi | 187 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Viller | 174 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | sörsseli | 107 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | kilsi | 94 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceessar | +4.06 | 59 | 78 |
| #2 | Jevvy | +3.10 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | levve | +2.72 | 62 | 72 |
| #4 | jermab | +2.24 | 73 | 82 |
| #5 | kilsi | +1.85 | 76 | 75 |





