








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Wingman | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




281 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10709 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9957 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 11582 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2583 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,644,041 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





