










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 369 | 15% |
| Smokes | 798 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1149 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 204 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,093 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIDNA!? | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Jomshhh | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | crnch | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | h | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIDNA!? | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Jomshhh | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | crnch | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | h | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crnch | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | LIDNA!? | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Jomshhh | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crnch | 191 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | h | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | LIDNA!? | 51 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jomshhh | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crnch | +3.92 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | LIDNA!? | +0.82 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | Crimson Owl | -0.81 | 50 | 39 |
| #4 | Jomshhh | -1.77 | 30 | 35 |
| #5 | h | -1.86 | 46 | 79 |





