








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6128 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3586 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3181 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3480 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $890,112 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATOWN | 47% | 72 |
| #2 | FALLEN | 43% | 245 |
| #3 | I ADORE MY WIFE | 41% | 27 |
| #4 | Lil Nut Stain | 40% | 180 |
| #5 | 2025 Subaru Crosstrek | 34% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Nut Stain | 50 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | FALLEN | 26 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | I ADORE MY WIFE | 9 | 0.0158 |
| #4 | 2025 Subaru Crosstrek | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | ATOWN | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FALLEN | +3.70 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | I ADORE MY WIFE | +2.75 | 85 | 37 |
| #3 | HOSS3006 | +0.69 | 62 | 53 |
| #4 | ATOWN | -1.02 | 35 | 31 |
| #5 | 2025 Subaru Crosstrek | -2.58 | 20 | 17 |





