










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1683 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1293 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 838 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,716 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | EhhWuhh | 43% | 142 |
| #4 | dinosaurmoo | 42% | 227 |
| #5 | r1c | 42% | 221 |
| #6 | Mitt3nzz | 41% | 44 |
| #7 | iChokedOnAPipe | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinosaurmoo | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | r1c | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Doggofill | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | EhhWuhh | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | iChokedOnAPipe | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinosaurmoo | 531 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | EhhWuhh | 301 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Doggofill | 277 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | r1c | 206 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mitt3nzz | 102 | 0.11 | 3 min |





