








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1302 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3125 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2689 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1797 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,682,039 of utility $271 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💜 | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | 71 S4DDLL | 51% | 361 |
| #3 | | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | akuku | 45% | 87 |
| #5 | ⨯ | 44% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⨯ | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | 71 S4DDLL | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | HEFALUMP | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 💜 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 71 S4DDLL | 1344 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | ⨯ | 229 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | HEFALUMP | 163 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | 2184957 | 157 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sennin | +1.93 | 87 | 47 |
| #2 | 2184957 | +0.68 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | 71 S4DDLL | -0.02 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | 💜 | -0.22 | 71 | 42 |
| #5 | | -0.74 | 76 | 38 |





