








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 753 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 617 | 23% |
| Smokes | 620 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 855 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 568 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,319 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | yopper | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Jamz | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | skid | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | JMulahhh | 66% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jamz | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | skid | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | JMulahhh | 66% | 38 |
| #6 | ĐΞΞz ИuTz | 65% | 17 |
| #7 | Revokeee | 65% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMulahhh | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Jamz | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Revokeee | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | yopper | 1 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | skid | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Revokeee | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | JMulahhh | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ĐΞΞz ИuTz | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | skid | 33 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jordan | 21 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thanos | +4.42 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | Jordan | +2.59 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | skid | +1.36 | 66 | 75 |
| #4 | yopper | +1.17 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Revokeee | -0.23 | 64 | 64 |





