








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 16% |
| Smokes | 50 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 134 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 182 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $11,094 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CycloneMike | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Zey | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Trex | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | z207 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | VERY NEARLY MIKE | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zey | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Trex | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | z207 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | VERY NEARLY MIKE | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Fluffy | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trex | 7 | 0.0374 |
| #2 | VERY NEARLY MIKE | 4 | 0.0404 |
| #3 | Fluffy | 2 | 0.0465 |
| #4 | Zey | 1 | 1.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trex | 41 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | Fluffy | 14 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #3 | VERY NEARLY MIKE | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CycloneMike | +3.22 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | z207 | +3.04 | 64 | 49 |
| #3 | VERY NEARLY MIKE | +1.72 | 81 | 46 |
| #4 | Zey | +1.38 | 91 | 58 |
| #5 | Trex | +0.58 | 69 | 73 |





