








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1887 | 40% |
| Smokes | 973 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1627 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 240 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,342,251 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ali | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | silver | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | yen | 49% | 323 |
| #4 | CockRocket | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | wizard | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yen | 49% | 323 |
| #4 | CockRocket | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | wizard | 45% | 71 |
| #6 | Old Man Jizy | 43% | 56 |
| #7 | Animosity | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yen | 60 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Animosity | 9 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | ali | 4 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | silver | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | CockRocket | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yen | 1677 | 0.24 | 44 min |
| #2 | silver | 200 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Old Man Jizy | 176 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ali | 74 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | wizard | 58 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yen | +3.41 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | silver | +2.06 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | seb | +0.37 | 59 | 35 |
| #4 | ali | -0.33 | 48 | 58 |
| #5 | Old Man Jizy | -0.42 | 49 | 57 |





