








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 644 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2598 | 10% |
| Smokes | 12098 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 5610 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5139 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,759,567 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltaren™ | 709 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Captain Rex | 574 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Captain scorpio | 404 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Striker | 295 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | ASAC Hank Schrader | 290 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Striker | +1.61 | 40 | 54 |
| #2 | ASAC Hank Schrader | +1.07 | 31 | 59 |
| #3 | Captain Rex | +0.88 | 24 | 37 |
| #4 | Chimpanzini Bananini | +0.18 | 15 | 23 |
| #5 | Captain scorpio | +0.01 | 61 | 34 |





