








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 901 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3399 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2227 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3764 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2885 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,525 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HACONOmatata | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | Chippie | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | PaggaPappa | 57% | 157 |
| #4 | AkaFrank | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | DeVader | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Chippie | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | PaggaPappa | 57% | 157 |
| #4 | AkaFrank | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | DeVader | 54% | 26 |
| #6 | Firestorm360 | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaggaPappa | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | HACONOmatata | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Firestorm360 | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Chippie | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | DeVader | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaggaPappa | 250 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chippie | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | HACONOmatata | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | DeVader | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Firestorm360 | 22 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Merlin.✨ | +2.89 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | AkaFrank | +1.70 | 60 | 63 |
| #3 | HACONOmatata | +1.16 | 75 | 40 |
| #4 | Chippie | +0.91 | 83 | 41 |
| #5 | PaggaPappa | -0.00 | 63 | 41 |





