








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16068 | 37% |
| Smokes | 9809 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9600 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8265 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,950 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vitt4o - | 30 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | .Tch | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | nnK. | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | theA- | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ≋L≋u≋ã≋⭐☕BaR1st4 | 9 | 0.0041 |





