








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 506 | 19% |
| Smokes | 890 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 501 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 728 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,312 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HornyHead Chub | 48% | 100 |
| #2 | Hot Pepper | 47% | 135 |
| #3 | USDOT | 47% | 79 |
| #4 | Awesome_Pigy11 | 44% | 82 |
| #5 | Tim632 | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USDOT | 14 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | HornyHead Chub | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Hot Pepper | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Awesome_Pigy11 | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Tim632 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USDOT | 121 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | HornyHead Chub | 98 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hot Pepper | 69 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Awesome_Pigy11 | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tim632 | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USDOT | +3.87 | 87 | 42 |
| #2 | Hot Pepper | +1.46 | 56 | 34 |
| #3 | Tim632 | +0.25 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | HornyHead Chub | -0.40 | 44 | 47 |
| #5 | Awesome_Pigy11 | -1.65 | 52 | 26 |





