








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2274 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2470 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 904 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1504 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,213,505 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sit ape | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | gob | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ⚥ | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | ✪Crythical | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sit ape | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | gob | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ⚥ | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | ✪Crythical | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚥ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | gob | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | sit ape | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Crythical | 264 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | ⚥ | 108 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | sit ape | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | gob | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gob | +3.23 | 69 | 47 |
| #2 | ✪Crythical | +2.18 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | sit ape | +1.83 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | ⚥ | -0.06 | 56 | 46 |
| #5 | cya l8r bowl cut | -0.28 | 69 | 49 |





