








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1248 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1383 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 660 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1078 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,356 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | relaxbtw | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | loco studentka | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | كس اختك في زبي | 82% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | relaxbtw | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | loco studentka | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | كس اختك في زبي | 82% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loco studentka | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | relaxbtw | 14 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | كس اختك في زبي | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | loco studentka | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamjer | +4.62 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | كس اختك في زبي | +2.02 | 94 | 64 |
| #3 | loco studentka | +0.99 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | relaxbtw | +0.94 | 95 | 66 |





