








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1179 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1425 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1024 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 961 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,133 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BrandoBoost | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | Poonum | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | TheLisperSupreme | 44% | 77 |
| #7 | Needlah | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | Sally Slices | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatchet | 500 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | BrandoBoost | 93 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | TheLisperSupreme | 91 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jiji | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Poonum | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatchet | +3.88 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | Poonum | +3.48 | 75 | 44 |
| #3 | The Muffin Man | +1.59 | 67 | 45 |
| #4 | Needlah | +0.60 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | BrandoBoost | +0.45 | 33 | 60 |





