








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Wingman | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3056 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2598 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4623 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2548 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,421 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolzini | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | ★ tidz | 48% | 253 |
| #3 | Dollar Tree Headset | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolzini | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | ★ tidz | 48% | 253 |
| #3 | Dollar Tree Headset | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ tidz | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Dollar Tree Headset | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Dolzini | 5 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ tidz | 594 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Dollar Tree Headset | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dolzini | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dollar Tree Headset | +3.48 | 80 | 45 |
| #2 | Dolzini | +1.20 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | ★ tidz | -0.34 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | Crush (Louis) | -0.84 | 47 | 49 |





