








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 924 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 469 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4780 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5191 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5249 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4673 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,390,831 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robseN | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | p1ng | 61% | 62 |
| #3 | heav3n. | 61% | 59 |
| #4 | juL9e | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | DanG | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | p1ng | 61% | 62 |
| #3 | heav3n. | 61% | 59 |
| #4 | juL9e | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | DanG | 60% | 35 |
| #6 | bigsmallpp | 53% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanG | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | bigsmallpp | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | p1ng | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | heav3n. | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | robseN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigsmallpp | 407 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | heav3n. | 236 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | p1ng | 193 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | robseN | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | juL9e | 92 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanG | +1.17 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | robseN | +1.11 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Kingtim851 | +0.64 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | p1ng | +0.21 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | bigsmallpp | +0.12 | 78 | 68 |





