








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 476 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2817 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4146 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5778 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3310 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,234,317 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow | 66% | 79 |
| #2 | S 1 m s t a f f | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Player | 51% | 122 |
| #4 | n3oN | 48% | 342 |
| #5 | Domis | 46% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | S 1 m s t a f f | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Player | 51% | 122 |
| #4 | n3oN | 48% | 342 |
| #5 | Domis | 46% | 184 |
| #6 | 𝐘𝐨𝐃𝐚 | 43% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3oN | 41 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Shadow | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Player | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Domis | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | 𝐘𝐨𝐃𝐚 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3oN | 577 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #2 | Domis | 378 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Player | 270 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | 𝐘𝐨𝐃𝐚 | 242 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Shadow | 165 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player | +4.26 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | Shadow | +3.37 | 89 | 64 |
| #3 | 𝐘𝐨𝐃𝐚 | +2.19 | 89 | 66 |
| #4 | S 1 m s t a f f | +1.12 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | Domis | +0.95 | 80 | 63 |





