








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8036 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5867 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4676 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4904 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,458,785 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Confused | 60% | 63 |
| #2 | Bunco | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Sin | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Goon | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | rodeo | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Confused | 16 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | xOjeezOmanx | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Goon | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Paco | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | mister meaner | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fizzy | 474 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #2 | mister meaner | 313 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | xOjeezOmanx | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | rodeo | 175 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | ANYONE CAN COOK | 168 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goon | +5.24 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | rodeo | +2.98 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | mister meaner | +2.85 | 86 | 67 |
| #4 | Confused | +2.04 | 86 | 56 |
| #5 | NADROJ | +1.50 | 77 | 65 |





