








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1866 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1825 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,501,485 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andy8129 | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | and drunk | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | raffimeister | 53% | 106 |
| #4 | Max | 50% | 80 |
| #5 | Totototototototototo | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | and drunk | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | raffimeister | 53% | 106 |
| #4 | Max | 50% | 80 |
| #5 | Totototototototototo | 49% | 91 |
| #6 | OliBär | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Totototototototototo | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Max | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | raffimeister | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | and drunk | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 273 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | raffimeister | 125 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | and drunk | 108 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Totototototototototo | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | andy8129 | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +2.35 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | and drunk | +2.00 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | sherlock | +0.70 | 69 | 54 |
| #4 | andy8129 | -0.24 | 66 | 51 |
| #5 | Totototototototototo | -0.72 | 45 | 43 |





