








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 972 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3551 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3239 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,492,018 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | seafseaf | 57% | 234 |
| #6 | Bheris | 56% | 151 |
| #7 | Papa | 54% | 87 |
| #8 | d | 54% | 63 |
| #9 | unlucko | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | seafseaf | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Bheris | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | unlucko | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | j4hq | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seafseaf | 1102 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #2 | unlucko | 323 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #3 | d | 256 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Papa | 232 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | j4hq | 230 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seaf | +3.05 | 66 | 75 |
| #2 | Droftus | +1.67 | 63 | 34 |
| #3 | seafseaf | +1.51 | 62 | 77 |
| #4 | Bheris | +1.10 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | j4hq | +0.90 | 70 | 69 |





