








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7068 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5689 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5855 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5773 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,271,107 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustSomeWombat | 18 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Chrisツ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Tobi2B™ | 3 | 0.0012 |





