








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1176 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1748 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2078 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1585 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,211,711 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1030 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fh1sh | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | Seal Team Rick | 49% | 277 |
| #3 | Doug Dimmadome | 45% | 213 |
| #4 | funkiestpigeon | 44% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fh1sh | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | Seal Team Rick | 49% | 277 |
| #3 | Doug Dimmadome | 45% | 213 |
| #4 | funkiestpigeon | 44% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seal Team Rick | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Doug Dimmadome | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | funkiestpigeon | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | fh1sh | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkiestpigeon | 249 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Seal Team Rick | 245 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Doug Dimmadome | 131 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | fh1sh | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seal Team Rick | +2.07 | 45 | 54 |
| #2 | fh1sh | +0.85 | 37 | 50 |
| #3 | Doug Dimmadome | -0.44 | 48 | 40 |
| #4 | funkiestpigeon | -1.62 | 21 | 57 |
| #5 | ZScore | -1.90 | 38 | 48 |





