








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4433 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4240 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4971 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3804 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,293,592 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnyyy_ | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | easy does it | 58% | 89 |
| #3 | NE0 | 57% | 86 |
| #4 | ^veh | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | empire | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | -_dNL | 47% | 30 |
| #10 | s3Rb!aN | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | ANÐY | 46% | 105 |
| #12 | diabolic | 42% | 66 |
| #13 | logic | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANÐY | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | NE0 | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | diabolic | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | empire | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | WSX | 2 | 0.0016 |





