








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 908 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1855 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2277 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1810 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2381 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,776,925 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Er3mit | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | yogho♿ | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | werner ziegler | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | immobilo | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | ♛vapiboi♛ | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iLight | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Schlepphoden | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ♛vapiboi♛ | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Harizune | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | silva | 3 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | werner ziegler | +2.80 | 89 | 47 |
| #2 | 蝶magnus | +2.18 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | Er3mit | +1.77 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | ★DemonJK | +1.42 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | yogho♿ | +1.35 | 84 | 69 |





