








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2602 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2046 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2035 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1444 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,921 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 917 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Downy | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Saint Donnie | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Beeman | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | pags | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Trix | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Saint Donnie | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Beeman | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | pags | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Trix | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | 1998 GSXR 750 SRAD | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1998 GSXR 750 SRAD | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Downy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | pags | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Trix | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Saint Donnie | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beeman | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | pags | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Downy | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Saint Donnie | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | 1998 GSXR 750 SRAD | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Downy | +3.76 | 67 | 40 |
| #2 | pags | +1.83 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | 2000 Chevrolet Corvette | +1.20 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | Trix | +0.45 | 25 | 34 |
| #5 | Saint Donnie | -1.52 | 29 | 29 |





