








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 499 | 31% |
| Smokes | 296 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 338 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 455 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,810 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | *Ctrl_Phreak | 48% | 48 |
| #13 | dumbazo | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | KVR | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | squackmchack | 40% | 5 |
| #16 | Bullets4Breakfast | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Ctrl_Phreak | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Skystalker20 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Smite | 2 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | Skriffels | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Plodder | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skystalker20 | 136 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Skriffels | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | RHINO | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | *Ctrl_Phreak | 21 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | .:RhinoZA:. | 19 | 0.20 | 1 min |





