








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 607 | 32% |
| Smokes | 431 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 368 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,193 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kel | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Yis | 47% | 58 |
| #3 | Foowee | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | faytalist.Shego | 41% | 46 |
| #5 | S_Y_N_R_G | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Yis | 47% | 58 |
| #3 | Foowee | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | faytalist.Shego | 41% | 46 |
| #5 | S_Y_N_R_G | 26% | 23 |
| #6 | thaus_ | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faytalist.Shego | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Yis | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | S_Y_N_R_G | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yis | 189 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | S_Y_N_R_G | 143 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #3 | Foowee | 114 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | faytalist.Shego | 104 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | kel | 17 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yis | +1.96 | 54 | 72 |
| #2 | faytalist.Shego | +0.04 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Foowee | -0.53 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | NANG LORD | -1.62 | 46 | 56 |
| #5 | thaus_ | -2.07 | 51 | 53 |





