








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1611 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2137 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1096 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,254 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blomqma | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Sensei Werneri | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | Murtsa | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Smög | 55% | 178 |
| #5 | ★ Xantho | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blomqma | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Sensei Werneri | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | Murtsa | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Smög | 55% | 178 |
| #5 | ★ Xantho | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smög | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ★ Xantho | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Murtsa | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Sensei Werneri | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smög | 281 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | ★ Xantho | 263 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sensei Werneri | 79 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Blomqma | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Murtsa | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Xantho | +0.85 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | RM1 | +0.79 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Smög | +0.45 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | Blomqma | -1.52 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | Murtsa | -1.60 | 61 | 54 |





