








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1800 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1621 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1079 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1180 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,410 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smithyy | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ojm | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | HealE | 47% | 72 |
| #4 | nohjj | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | heaton | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smithyy | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ojm | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | HealE | 47% | 72 |
| #4 | nohjj | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | heaton | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nohjj | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | HealE | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | heaton | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Smithyy | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nohjj | 185 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | HealE | 105 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | heaton | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ojm | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Smithyy | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nohjj | +1.43 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | kerr | +1.21 | 78 | 76 |
| #3 | heaton | +0.01 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | ojm | -0.22 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Smithyy | -0.62 | 84 | 71 |





