








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 773 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 682 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9655 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10372 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4023 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 7061 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,462,745 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byAzorXx | 57% | 196 |
| #2 | ♿ Mochasa ♿ | 54% | 250 |
| #3 | Nocato01 | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | SiTo | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | Agencia Tributaria | 52% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SiTo | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Agencia Tributaria | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ♿ Mochasa ♿ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | byAzorXx | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Nocato01 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byAzorXx | 735 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | ♿ Mochasa ♿ | 571 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | SiTo | 434 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Agencia Tributaria | 425 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #5 | Nocato01 | 149 | 0.05 | 4 min |





