








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 143 | 22% |
| Smokes | 151 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 171 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 200 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $59,323 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pathetic | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | FENIX | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | fanatyk | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | Rufus | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | Frontsiderr | 100% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Bozydar666 | 57% | 7 |
| #12 | TF1sted | 50% | 2 |
| #13 | 平均数 Anonymo 享受者 | 50% | 2 |
| #14 | Szlame Time | 50% | 2 |
| #15 | ---MaLt1X--- | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mate! | 1 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | R31T0 #BOT | 1 | 0.0175 |
| #3 | 平均数 Anonymo 享受者 | 1 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bozydar666 | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | R31T0 #BOT | 25 | 0.44 | 1 min |
| #3 | PeTeRoOo | 18 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | pathetic | 18 | 0.40 | 0 min |
| #5 | zigzak | 17 | 0.15 | 0 min |





